Terminate the IdiotBoys: Resurrected

                                       Chapter One: Setting Some Standards

     Time hadn’t done much to dull the vicious rivalry that persisted between the irken Zim and his human foe - the paranormal investigator/zoologist Dib Membrane. It had, however, provided at least one of them with a great deal of life lessons; most of which had been physically beaten into him.

     Dib didn’t have anything close to an ideal childhood, and with the advent of Zim’s arrival it had gotten more exciting, but at the same time more painful. Thankfully with his maturity came the realization that the best results manifested with an increase in cleverness and subtly, while showboating and approval seeking simultaneously decreased. The end product was a more dangerous game of call-and-answer with the battles and taunting kept to a more private level. It had been a contest fought with cleverness, technology and fists. The end goal: to see who could reach and go beyond their highest potential first.

     That had been two years ago. Now it seemed that Zim’s plans had hit their peak and were now on the steady downward slope of mediocrity and repetition. It was tragic that Zim had crested so early. It was also very disappointing. Though he was sanguine to accept it, Dib had convinced himself to not think about it too much and just look back on his early teens with pride and nostalgia for the high paced, purposeful life he had led. It had been so invigorating and rewarding to fight Zim with everything he had. And now… he was reduced to this again.   

     “Ha! Foolish Earth-stink!” Zim laughed at Dib as he reeled in pain on the ground.
     “That was for the jelly-beans!” Zim screamed.

     “Geez, Zim!” Dib said trying not to focus on the pain emitting from his lower body, where Zim’s foot had come in contact with only a few seconds earlier. “That was two weeks ago!”

     “No it wasn’t!” Zim yelled jutting his lower jaw out. “It was one week, five days, and six hours ago!” He said pointing an accusing finger at the crumpled up body in front of him. Dib’s eyes narrowed awkwardly.

     “You kept track of the hours?”

     “Yes.”

     “You’re a moron.” Dib stated plainly.

     “No I am not!” Zim shouted in defense.

     “Whatever, Zim.” Dib got up slowly and straightened the lapels of his trench coat. “You just keep saying that.”

     Despite the fact that he was already leaning precariously on his heels, with Dib now at his full height Zim had to step back so that he could look up into the face of his nemesis. He HATED the fact that Did, as an average human, was entitled to a staggering height. What made it all the more unbearable was that the human came from a long line of tall people and as such, at his current age of fifteen, he was six feet tall and still climbing! By the projections Zim calculated after looking at a stolen sample of Dib’s blood the boy had at least two more inches to go before he would finally stop growing.  

     “What is that supposed to mean!?” Zim’s eyes narrowed. “Do you want Zim to kick you in your disgusting Earth-body-sacks again!?”

     “What!? No!” Dib looked angrily at Zim. Honestly he had been expecting some kind of retribution. It always came after he thwarted Zim, but for it to be so…
lame as a kick in the groin was annoying. “Go away.” He continued walking.

     “Very well… I will go away, but you must not interfere with Zim’s plans
tonight!” Zim said proudly to himself.

     “Plans? What plans are you making Zim?”

     “Same plans I always do! World domination!” Zim smiled. “My amazing plans, of amazing goodness…” His ‘s’ sound was elongated like the sound a train made when it was coming to a stop.

     “Can’t you… ya know? Maybe… not, try taking over the Earth tonight?”

     “Why?” Zim asked.

     Dib rubbed his forehead in a fruitless attempt to stave of a massive headache. “Oh Zim,” Dib thought to himself as he gave an exasperated sigh, “where to begin?” Wisely Dib chose not to rant his disappointment at the sheer lack of effort this ‘unstoppable killing machine’ was putting into his mission. Instead Dib chose to just keep it simple. He really didn’t want to get into a fight with Zim when he was being so childish. “Because your plans keep getting lamer and lamer, Zim. I know you can do better, and frankly I’m bored with this.”

     “Bored!? HA! Pathetic Earth-creature. Your boredom will be this planet’s downfall! Haha haaaah!” Zim paused, seeing how he got no reaction from Dib. He threw his hands up in the air and started pouring out his latest plan in hopes that he would grab the human’s attention. “I’ve built an amazing machine! One so amazing, you’ll be so amazed… that…” Zim thought for a minute. “That you’ll be in awe!” Dib cocked an eyebrow at Zim’s choice of redundant words and just kept walking. “Don’t you want to know what it does?” Zim asked.

     “No Zim. Not really.” Dib stopped at his front door, and shook his head.  

     “What!? Why not!?” Zim was shocked that Dib was just giving up on him. Just like that!

     “I already told you, Zim.”

     “Yes yes,” Zim fanned his hand in Dib’s direction as he rolled his eyes, “your explanation makes no sense. Zim is as frightening as ever and if you do nothing to stop my ingenious plan then you agree with me!” Zim smiled as if he had hedged Dib into a corner with his witty banter. “It’s so sad that you have simply rolled over and given up your puny dreams of preventing this filth ball’s inevitable doom.” Zim had to hand it to himself, he was a genius. There was no way Dib wouldn’t jump into action now. But he didn’t.    

     “Uh huh. Look,” Dib stared back at Zim through the gap in the doorway. “I’m still going to keep you under surveillance, never doubt that. I have eyes everywhere and I am well aware that you are still the greatest threat to Earth,” He could see Zim starting to puff up with pride so he quickly continued, “but I’m not going to trip over myself in order to stop you based on some self aggrandizing speech I’ve already heard a million times.” Dib couldn’t help the sneer that ran across his face as he threw in one last jibe before slamming the door in the alien’s face. “Plus I already know that when you urge me to chase you it means you aren’t any real threat, so I’ll just skip the running around and take my little victory in having beaten you. Again.”

                                                               ~*~*~*~

     If the neighbors had been unaccustomed to the shrill yelling and slamming coming from the odd glowing green house at the end of the road they would certainly have called the police. As it was they just assumed that tonight was a particularly rough night for the “young boy” and his funny green dog that inhabited the building. When Zim had returned he had thrown an epic tantrum. He barely had controlled his anger on his way back from the front steps of the Membrane household, but when he heard the click of his front door shutting behind him he let every ounce of his pent up rage out. The ugly painting above the coach was slashed with both clawed hands as the mechanical legs tore into the TV and the tiled floor. Couch stuffing was flung, tiles and furniture flew through the air, GIR joined in thinking that the whole ordeal was a pillow fight like the ones he had seen on the internet, and Mini-Moose flushed himself into the depth of the base to avoid becoming a victim of the dangerous shrapnel ripping through the air.

     Out of sheer exhaustion Zim finally collapsed on the floor feeling frustrated. The snit had dispelled most of his pent up energy, but although he was now too tired to throw things around anymore he still felt unsatisfied and murderous.

     Stupid Dib. Saying that by simply telling Zim off he had beaten him. Zim did have a plan! It was all drawn out on his draft table… somewhere. And once the plans resurfaced from all the junk in the laboratories he had every intention of getting right on with carrying out his evil plan. He had just been giving Dib a heads-up by telling him about the machine. It was only polite after all! …Yeah.

     Oi. No wonder Dib had said he was bored. This was so depressing. It all sounded stupid when he thought it out. Had the almighty Zim really fallen so low? Had he lost his touch? Had he always had that pudge on his stomach? “Irk, I have let myself go.” Zim said to no one in particular as he unhappily poked his gut.

     It was all Dib’s fault! He had not taken his role as the villain to Zim’s hero seriously, and now Zim was getting slack. Never mind the fact that Dib had always worked from a defensive position in their fights. Such trivial things were inconsequential! Falling into complacency was something that such an impressive invader as the almighty ZIM could not afford to do. He had to give this some thought.

     Zim didn’t bother to move from the floor. He would have not bothered to blink if the action hadn’t been unconscious. He focused solely on his pathetic state and how to show Dib that he still had it. Thirty minutes passed before any sound returned to the living room. It started out low, but the steady manic glee within him couldn’t be contained for long. Soon Zim was writhing around the floor in uncontrollable fits of cackling. That bloated headed Earth pig stink wanted Zim to present more of a challenge? “Oh you squeally foolish Dib. You have no idea what you have wished for.”

                                                                 ~*~*~*~

     Out on the sidewalk one of Zim’s long time neighbors paused in walking her dog to smile at the exuberant, if unnerving, laughter coming from inside the bizarre house.

     “You hear that Nugget?” The old woman said to her barking terrier. “It sounds like that poor child has gotten over his temper tantrum and is back on his feet!”

A/N: I have adopted this story from Duelistabbeyryou with her permission and blessing. As such I have decided to take the story in a somewhat different direction, but will still be following her basic plot: that Zim and Dib become outlaws. The following chapters will be interspersed with mixes of my writing and hers until such time as I plan to deviate from what has already been written. Not ZaDR. All rights belong to Nickelodeon and Jhonen Vasquez.